Tuesday, January 20, 2009


I got this from my friend Kate. It was too hilarious to not share with the people I love! ENJOY!
It is from the Washington Post, btw...

By Carolyn HaxWednesday, May 23, 2007; Page C10

Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry. What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group . . .

Okay. I've done Internet searches, I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners . . . I do all those things, too, and I don't do them EVERY DAY. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events) and I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy -- not a bad thing at all -- but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a peeing contest ("My life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks get the same story and have the same questions.

Tacoma, Wash.

Relax and enjoy. You're funny.

Or you're lying about having friends with kids.

Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.

Internet searches?

I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.

So, since it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. In list form. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, clean, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces the kind of checkout-line screaming that gets the checkout line shaking its head.

It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.

It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.

It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends, well-meaning and otherwise.

It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.

It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything -- language, manners, safety,
resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.

It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you to mutual friends, or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand or keep your snit to yourself.

12 chocolate lovers:

Desarae said...

haha I just read that and had to fwd it. It is great. hehe. posting it on th eblog is a good idea!

GooberDiva13 said...

Hmm, besides the "hey why the heck don't you call me" bit, I have also wondered what stay at home moms do all day long. I have always wondered what keeps them so "busy". Honestly, this didn't clear it up too much, so I guess it'll be one of those things where you'll know when you know sorta thing.

The Melo's said...

I am glad you posted this! It is definitely something only stay at home moms will understand, but it is funny too!

Jill said...

Isn't that the truth. ;o)

Natalie said...

So, so true! No one understands it until they live it...sometimes not even dads! :) This gave me a good laugh. Thanks for posting it.

Eran said...

Amen sista!!

Brandon said...

I found this recently too. I found some great humor in it... because oh how true it really is!!!

Cindy said...

It's just good to see it in writing sometimes....it makes those self pittying days when you yourself wonder why you can't get it all done...and look like Joan Cleaver doing it...a little easier to swallow! Thanks!

Naomi said...

This is so true. It is definitely something that you can't understand completely until you experience it yourself.

Croft Family said...

Hey I find time to call my friends. Yes given I don't get as much done and well my daughters play like they are talking on the phone they pace the floor and pick things up thinking that is just what you do when your on the phone.

nicole said...

Ha! Love it! Thanks for sharing!!!

Jamie said...

Thanks for posting this. I sometimes wonder why it takes me so long to get even the simplest things done. It's nice to see it in writing.