Monday, December 22, 2008

Not really here

I'm still in Philly. Brad is working today and I'm trying to not get sick at the thought of dinner with all of his co-workers I've never met. They seem like wonderful people, but as I tend to be on the shy side and know no one at this party except for my date, I'm a little (or a lot) nervous. He is going to be working with these people for the next few years. Okay, I'm making to worse...

So, today I caught up on lots of emails, blogs, and facebook status updates. It has been fun catching up without kids running around, but I surely miss them.

I am as happy as could be here in Philly. I've had an amazing weekend and it was just what the doctor ordered, and pleaded for actually, as did I. :) I am sad to be leaving Brad tomorrow, but anxious to see my kids and grateful Brad will be joining us soon for Christmas.

But, while catching up on blogs, I went through a number of emotions. Resa's made me smile and laugh at the adorable pictures of Quinton and the beautiful family picture. And then she made me cry and miss Alexander some more. And then I was grateful knowing they are a forever family. And I was glad that David is such an awesome big brother and will be a great example to him. Quinton is so lucky to have him.

And then I read Joy's blog and I was mad and frustrated. My blog is more of a private one, and as such, isn't really as open to public scrutiny. But even if your blog is more public, that doesn't mean that the public should be mean and nasty when reading someone's blog. Joy is a wonderful and amazing woman and doesn't deserve the censure of someone who knows nothing about her other than what she reads in her blog. Joy was an amazing president of our medical school spouse group. She is selfless and giving and works hard for other people. Just because she can do all that and look gorgeous at the same time doesn't mean she is self-centered. Sheesh! When I started blogging, I called it "Life of a doctor's wife." Because our lives tend to revolve around Brad and his schedule, it seems to be one of the dominate factors in our lives. I have other places to vent about it now, so I try, though I don't know how successfully, to not vent about it on here as much. But if I did, and when I do, I would hope that people would be kind and considerate of my feelings and my need to have a sounding board. It isn't easy being married to someone whose career requires hundreds of thousands in loans, 80 hour work weeks, crazy call schedules, and 10 years (when we are all done) of post-graduate education. Brad is worth every single sacrifice I've made. It honestly doesn't feel like a sacrifice. He is a blessing to me. I'm grateful to have friends and family who listen to me whine and vent without judging me or considering me wimpy. So, thank you to my friends and family who give me a safe place to be me. That is all. The venting will now cease. For today.

3 chocolate lovers:

Trisha said...

Glad you are having a good time! You will do fine tonight... you've got nothing to worry about. You guys have a Merry Christmas!

Jill said...

Good luck at the party! I know you won't have any problems making friends in Philly. :o)

Becky and Chris said...

I like your title "not really here" and I was wondering if that was a state of mind or something physical. Though you sound nervous it seems like a really exciting time of your lives.
Have a merry Christmas!!!